I know I just moved into a new place, but the situation I moved into has changed dramatically in the short time since I got here. Its clear that I need to find another place and fast. I have a steady income and 5 years history with my current job, but I don’t have a security deposit lying around and I need to come up with one ASAP.
Other things about me? I am a veteran of the military. I’m queer. I have never been arrested.
Please donate as much or as little as you can as everything helps! Please repost this link to boost the signal.
Lexie’s moving fund
So that time of year has come and gone in San Francisco once again. I’ll admit that this was the first Trans March I had walked in since moving here 4 years ago. It also was the first time someone has put themselves out in the public “officially” showing support of me.
(I’ve not had the fortune to have had a family member do such a thing, as I was pretty much shunned by blood and attacked, sometimes verbally, by the other.)
She, my girlfriend, stood (or rather sat in a wheelchair) with an intricately detailed sign. It was something that really showed the love and outpouring of support she has been willing to put into me.
When she first showed it to me, it took a few moments for barriers to crumble down to the point of happy tears.
“Why has anyone ever taken this much investment into me?” was really apparent. Her outpouring and support does show in her pride in me, being who that I am, is something that doesn’t change.
The Trans March is a protest march; it is for the open visibility of gender variant people, as well as a time to voice change, acceptance, support, and pride within this fraction of the queer community. There were a lot of people displaying support for Chelsea Manning among the march. Hand in hand were a few people displaying “proud parent of a trangendered child” signs and shirts. It was a really beautiful thing.
As we had planned to also do the Dyke March on the following day, exhaustion on both our behalves kept us from attending. (2+ mile parade route plus to and from the subway stations as well)
As for the “pride” of Pride, it hit me on a more personal level than I could have imagined before.
I was in the news, yet again. (2010)
In San Francisco, Rooms for $1,000/Month Are Now Scarce
There is some certainty about this place…
It has stagnant energy driven by fear that is reduced to complacency.
Single people stay single and don’t often invest in someone to grow with, people in dead end stale relationships seem to stay in those too. Failed marriages are some of the background noise that isn’t always visible at the surface because it all continues on.
BUT ALL OF THIS COMES PUSHING FORWARD, Like an angry crackhead full of garbage bags pushing through on the 71 Haight bus…
SAN FRANCISCO ONLY CHANGES WHEN IT IS INEVITABLE.
There is no other reason to grow a family, build an empire, invest in human beings unless that proverbial push is coming down the tube.
Sure I have a few friends, I’ve even dated.
People on tethers (life support), estranged spouse separated status, old money and or parental support, people under 25 making 6 figures without sweating 10 years for it-no body wants their umbilicus cut, or to leave the cave of illusions.
I did the interview for this article a few weeks ago. I have had a few interviews, and the prospects of living in the East Bay are still that of subtracting the rent total what the transportation fee into San Francisco would affect it as a whole. I took that $900 per month place and am walking the extra distance to work. People that live in the rest of the country would hopefully ask “Why are you paying $900 a month and you aren’t really able afford to eat?” I would reply, if someone ever were to be so bold ask: “I ask myself that same question, and question my sanity at times.” Mostly because I grew up in the middle of the country somewhere between Cornfield, Iowa and Shigpit, Texas. Of course, they will under employ you if your trans in some of those places that will employ you.
I currently work full time above the elevated minimum wage here and its still maddening.
If there is no net gain in the long run, what is the point of investing anything in anything or anyone?
Why live with false hope at the current pace? This isn’t claiming victim status, that’s what it would be if it was this situation and I was unemployed. For people that quickly label people claiming to be a victim need to just look at their own lack of compassion to find their answers.
I am a veteran of the military who’s had a full-time job for the last 3.5 years.
At $30,000 annual income, I cannot afford most of what is listed on here. I also do not qualify for most social programs because I make too much money. I have to work. My credit isn’t glorious.
Also, I can control myself to stop at 2 glasses of wine. I realize that some people can’t.
I do not qualify for veterans and social programs because I work-I cannot lie to attend mandatory meetings. I am a competent human being.
Am I supposed to live in the TL full of bedbugs? No.
LGBT Queer friendly (important), Gets paid rent promptly, Responds with area your room is located. Please don’t send offers over $1000 per month, its far above my income.
I am not a student, but am fine living around students (Park Merced, SF State, etc.)
I’m not a jerk, nor a criminal.
It doesn’t bother me if you: drink, 420, have a dog or cat, or drink under age.
Please contact me if you have something.
Can’t a Dyke get a break?
Its October 31! My new year will start soon. In case I hadn’t mentioned it before, I am a witch. I don’t ride my broom. Samhain does not interfere with my day of birth which is yet another reason why this new year festival makes perfect sense.
My year in review? Its sort of like that.
Health. I had a few benign extractions without a hitch. My health and culture took a major blow from an allergy to Gluten-no more typical bread, beer, pasta, or pizza. Its hard to get a higher protein carbohydrate in my diet now. Gluten-free flour really sucks to use as it has no glue-like properties to stick things together. No stretching of rising dough neither!
Death. I lost a really awesome friend less than a week prior to this post, whom I am still mourning. She and I were making weekend lunch plans up until her untimely death. I can only assume it was health related as her photos show an increase of weight in a short time. She had just married her fiance 2 weeks prior to her death. Maybe she knew. I’ll always love my friend Claire.
Music. My muse and artist are in one body and mind. My hands erupt with obsession on the fretboard of my guitar. My love for musical expression has returned, like never before. I felt that my “musical heart” was broken while my first guitar was missing-in-action. It wasn’t until I was told (put into storage with a friend for 3 years) that it was actually gone 3 year ago.
Solitary-a witch without a coven. I guess I am a bit of a “bad witch”-bad being lazy. I really observe the big Sabbats but tend to be lacking with ritual between those times. I’d like to be doing more, but there seems to be some spiritual blockage or something.
Family. It was officially 5 years since last I spoke to the bad blood family and the good blood family. The good blood family has stayed relatively supportive and I have good communications with them. No apologizes coming from the bad blood anytime soon.My extended family of friends do get less time from me due to my domestic nature. Sorry folks, its not personal.
Enjoy this Samhain, or Halloween safely!
Finally, my wait is over!
My LTD GL-200 Kamikaze has arrived!
Due to the problems of extended “in-stock by” dates whizzing by since July 3rd, I was offered a free padded carrying case and cleaning kit for this situation. Then, when I was shipped a fleece lined drum case accidentally, I was given a gift card by Guitar Center. Luckily, my was quickly processed by the Emeryville Guitar Center staff as to have one arrive!!!
No matter how late or enthusiastic you are about finally receiving something, always open the box at the store!!!
Its a copy of ESP’s Kamikaze produced for George Lynch. Humbucker and single coil with no tone controls and a push-pull volume knob to switch between the coils.
Difference between ESP and LTDs? A couple thousand dollars. Decide for yourself and watch here.
Jimi Hendrix (like me) was also a soldier at Fort Campbell, Kentucky in the 101st Airborne Division…and like me, didn’t overstay!
Oh, how rude of me. I totally forgot to mention the Goddess of Chaos: Eris. She is known as the Greek goddess of strife and discord. (Latin is translated to Discorda)
After my first guitar being Lucifer (Lucy for short) bringer of light as she was white; then replaced by the same model Ibanez RG350DX named Isis (Ice Ice baby), for the serpent goddess of the Mediterranean . My cello was named Lucien after Lucien Bonaparte, and not after the lycan character Lucien, from my favorite movie Underworld.
The Dokken video for In My Dreams is a good place to see George (Lynch) playing the original ESP Kamikaze.
I picked it up tonight, though I wrote a lot of this blog the week prior. I sat on the floor after I gave it a “once over” before firing up the amp. Action in the Floyd Rose is a bit stiff, but should loosen up nicely. The strings are bright but new and need some breaking-in. The radius is nice and I think flatter than my RG350DX’s, The push-pull volume pick-up switch is different but changes the tone very nice to slip into a few Hendrix type licks or two during my familiarization. The fretboard is rosewood and seems to be laminated/sealed-very flat.
I don’t do a lot of chords across 6 strings, the levelness of the neck seems to leave plenty of room to bend the strings a bit. One feature I didn’t notice until inspecting it was the recessed 1/4″ phono cable jack. I got a 90 degree plug thinking it was at the edge, but the recessed plug means you can use regular guitar jacks with it.
What kind of picks to I like? The Steve Clayton Acetal Polymer Pick: Small Teardrop – Size: .63mm. They are small for my fingers to still grip the string but ride my thumb to get nice pinch harmonics. I used them with my previous guitars and loved them.
Its nice to have an ax again.
Today at work, a random stuffed animal shows up. It’s a stuffed/varnished turtle. I enthusiastically ask to research but I already know what it is from my youth: a Red-eared Slider Water Turtle!
Because of growing up in the rural parts of this country, I caught lots of “critters”: snakes, frogs, toads, salamanders, lizards, tortoises, turtles, fish, tadpoles, crickets, grasshoppers, etc. I had been doing this since about age 3.
Its one of the few escapes I had, and I could avoid the yelling of my biological father. I’d sometimes do things with my other siblings, mostly my younger sister: climbing trees, building forts, picking black berries, picking flowers, running through the corn fields.
I haven’t seen my younger sister in more than 10 years. She lives in LA and has a car, so I hope she’d visit. It kills me sometimes that I hadn’t seen her in so long. Perhaps sometime before time weighs heavy we can visit each other?
The fruits and berries I picked were definitely “safe” as they were kinds I had helped my mother pick, but they were also safe according to our Collier Encyclopedia set. That encyclopedia set was the most useful thing about not having the internet invented yet. I could research any of the animals I caught. I avoided many poisonous snakes because of it. I had a library card since age 4 too!
In the city, there are squirrels and raccoons for wildlife. No frogs, no turtles, no salamanders (my favorite), no toads, no creeks with tadpoles to catch either. It seems that age has removed all feral life from my surroundings. How the hell did this happen?!?
This land is barren. For all the income I make, there isn’t “life” here. Am I that old? Can’t be.
My baby sister also had a pet slider. His bowl was on the table and when swatting house flies, one could offer the tribute to his hungry mouth. I think he wandered near the house after a rainfall.
My friend and I watch the show “Naked & Afraid” lately. So many skills that people lack, I possess. We talk about skills and knowledge. She compliments with enthusiasm and surprise when I share about the things learned in my youth and the military. Her and I could do this “in theory” because I happen to be a diabetic, there wouldn’t be days and days without eating. I would simply be dead.
She asks: “How do you catch a snake?” I reply: “Throw some clothing on top of it or take a stick and pin its head.” We laugh too as the man on the island is afraid of snakes and caimans and the woman doesn’t mind doing most of the work. My vegetarian partner knows the value of food when you are living in the wild. I’d be tempted to eat it without cooking it given my potential hunger. We understand if you kill it, you eat it-its not raised in a hellish torture factory farm for consumers.
It’s funny that the turtle came in the morning after this show. It’s funny too that so much of what I know about the wild, I learned from books by myself,
as a child.