Information Overload

I s’pose my ability to study (and study the refinements of grammar) of 4 languages simultaneously is one of the skills of my rapid-fire sequence brain. Having studied Spanish in college and still using it almost daily, Its helpful to strengthen basics. The Italian that came to be a language that I could also think in needs refining into something other than speaking the local tongue. German is new and I love it. French is the language of my girlfriend and so its always something I can find a better way to share experiences with her. How does one work on a little bit here and a little bit there? A website and app called Duolingo. Its fun that you can also connect to other friends and monitor each others’ progress.

Too, I am an artist. Expression comes naturally as breathing. Some expression is productive; at other times its emotive. Poetry, song, chords, scales, lyrics, and even a few drawings scrawled across pages or margins can flow like a river. This river swells to near-floodlike conditions, torrents and currents flow in rapid succession. There have been droughts, where the flow would just qualify being called a “flow”.

Some of my best attributes do make conversing with other “humans” difficult. Communication is clear, but gets impeded by differing communication style.

I need to learn to listen?

Not exactly.

This is where I say an analogy to cars/driving:
In racing, a governor is often an item that restricts the flow of fuel & air into an engine thereby limiting the production of power to the rear wheels, also known as SPEED.

Sounds good for cars, for people not so much.

Finding a happy medium of properly expressing thoughts & ideas without “restricting” content or sincerity and honesty is the tricky part, or slippery slope.

I’m really racking my brain for opportunities. Therapists that could really do some progress on this “skill of mine” would be few and far between, but not completely ruled out. A group of friends that hung out with to chat about deeper shit (listening to my rant and developing criticism and/or evaluation because or indifference to it) would be cool.
Car reference: A group of friends to pop a beer and wrench on an old Camaro and talk about each other’s lives would be a nice format.

As with anything, the cost of drinking and playing pool, therapy, buying a Camaro and parts and the place to rent garage space…..
all becomes a factor.

In finding a solution, I must try.
Then I must continue to try.
I’ll have to continue to try with the many setbacks that will inevitably occur from “the process”.

Life isn’t easy, once you get past the big parts, you cannot fall into the pitfall of small obstacle quagmire of progress.



How do you assist someone who might not ask for help?

I am perplexed.

The root meaning of my name is Greek for “helper”, and it is infected in my heart, soul, and mind to assist ones I love.

  • Do you “sit on your hands” until the problem goes away or fixes itself?
  • Do you “take a pile of money, placed under the problem; set it ablaze” until the problem goes away?
  • Do you run in the 180 degree opposite angle to the problem in a hasty fashion?

Then you have to ask:

  • Are you the type of person with a conscious?
  • Can you sleep at night based on your actions?
  • Do you feel that would help your own problems?


But you cannot force someone to tell you about their problems, and in the end you can figure moving on and spending more time with responsive people.

Thank you


Transgender Day of Rememberance

Today is the day where we, the transgender community, remember through the list of names of people murdered/died through actions of others because of who they were.
The name I carry for personal reasons of  being a veteran, and a former Screaming Eagle of the 101st, is for Private First Class Barry Winchell because he was murdered by a fellow soldier in July 1999 just a few blocks up the street from where I was.

I believe his name is relative to the list because in my opinion he was murdered because of his girlfriend, Calpernia Addams.

Today is a day to bring attention to advocacy, see what needs to change; to see how far we have come; and to remember the loved ones who died in this battle.
Its a
Violent bloody war
based on who you are.
Much like genocide of the African continent,
or ethnic cleansing of Europe.

So what I recommend to all the new boys and new girls out there (and people that are both and neither of those categories)…is to carry mace/tazer/pepper spray when you venture out in your new identity.
Don’t hesitate to use it in defense of being attacked by a family member. In fact, expect violence from at least 1 family member. Stay on your toes.


Castro in the Castro

So this week Mariela Castro, the daughter of current Cuban President Raul Castro, has been granted a visa for basically establishing a sort of relation in regards to LBGT in her own country. She has visited various places and organizations around San Francisco and caused a pleasant stir in LGBT circles. From the information available, LGBT is her area of concern to help within her own borders.


(There could be more human rights in the current communist countries of North Carolina, Arkansas, etc…)

Granted the country of Cuba has a marred record of relations with the United States but perhaps all things are effected by the passage of time. There is much dialogue on Capital Hill on the topics of LGBT both as progressives are trying to overhaul the system to be more inclusive AND the presidential election political rhetoric.

I haven’t stated who I will vote for (or if I will vote) in this November, but I can most certainly attest that I will not/would not vote for Mitt Romney cause lets face it he’s a turd-bag, quoted: US shouldn’t be offering an “open-hand to a regime engaged in the systematic and flagrant denial of basic human rights..” in a statement this week. Really? Seriously?

Romney himself is no champion of basic human rights given his record. “Pot calling the kettle black” would only ring true if he had short-range ICBM’s in his summer house’s back yard.

(I haven’t seen the satellite images to confirm this suspicion…)

I applaud that Cuba’s emissary is making more of an effort than Romney. Some people/countries/corporations grow up.

Others remain the bully they were back in high school.