Sometimes Life Can Remind You Why You Don’t Quit

For the first time in an age, I am completely happy with myself.
My struggles are my own and they seem to be the background noise to which has been the canvas to where I sling color and expression upon “in spite of” at times.

I don’t need someone else to make me happy. Historically, those have turned into that same situation driving me absolutely miserable. I was a willing participant, I will admit that!

But after your poignancy level has tapered off and your thoughts settle, life seems more enjoyable with an augmentation of joy, surpassed with happiness. Things are new again.

Happy times and inspiration as a “muse” to the artist need not be in constant supply. Moments of inspiration cause an avalanche effect cascading the creative process.
Little input yields mass output.

I can welcome this and know that I am better for not leaving San Francisco, not leaving my life, and not leaving me.
Because no matter where you go, there you are!

Lexikat

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They Don’t Build Them Like They Used To!

Video

So I get a Victor VV-50 across my desk today.

Img00032938 Img00032939

Since I used to fix motorcycles for my parents shop when I was 15, and that whole stint in the army as an AH-64 Apache Attack Helicopter Weapons Systems Repairer, I was confident I could make her sing.

And she did.

I haven’t heard this music produced except in old movies, but it was amazing. The record is roughly from the same period as the device and so it was like a time machine moment.

Sigh~

Lexikat

Ringing Like a Bell

Collision? Ding!
Well the laws of physics tell us that matter in a solid state still is in movement at the atomic level.
Sound? Ding!
Well the laws of physics tell us that it is a “vibration that propagates as a mechanical wave of pressure and displacement, through some medium (such as air or water). Sometimes sound refers to only those vibrations with frequencies that are within the range of hearing for humans” – from Wikipedia

I am a musician. My fingers move upon the frets creating sound that builds and is raised through the amplifier. Perhaps something that is struck will make a sound, say a person?

Throughout our lives we bounce like a particle of matter, colliding with different people we meet, HELLO?!?
but this time it had went ….DING~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (to infinity)
The sound resonates like a pebble into the pond-or bell. The waves roll out and across the medium long after the strike. I know that is kinda Zen-ish.

I stumbled recently-thinking I broke something or shattered something in my life.
However,
That bell thing I thought was just silly me. But when I reached out and thanked the many friendships, the other bell rang back-and apparently had since the moment it chimed in me.

So it seems I cannot clearly explain it, nor could my friend. But it happened so I’m not completely nuts.
No sports fans, I’m not in love nor running off somewhere in THAT sense,
but its some reassurance the resonant waves of the universe are universal in at least this one occasion.

And that is like billions upon billions more occasions than I would had thought existed only the day before.

Ding

Lexikat

Life Without Music Breaks My Heart Open Wider

I’m a musician.
It is THIS pulse that comes from within that escapes into this universe through my fingers producing sound against a medium of material (Guitar plus Amp, Keyboards, etc.)

I don’t need a band to play. Just some time with her in my hands is all I will ever need.

Often times, people see this as a luxury, a fruitless pursuit of something that does not pay-or is a distraction at best.

Right now I am moving-in the process of call-text-email people with rooms listed. Tedious and time consuming, but necessary.

But it hurts.

She is the muse like no other muse I have had in my life.

I can see her, but I can’t touch her.

She cries to my heart-and it does break open a little wider with each speck of dust that collects, the impact is as if it were a bullet.
My fingers hurt from not touching her-the callouses crack under daily activity…
my body is not stimulated to continue their production at the intensity to which my body had grown accustomed to.

Her sound resonates within my body when she is awake.

Sympathetic frequencies through out my nasal cavities and vocal folds flutter upon this interaction.

I hope I can get settled into someplace soon.

I die slowly without playing my guitar.

-L

How am I going to get a band going?

Its what “I ask myself” when I sit and mull over the internet posting on Soundcloud, Myspace, Bandmix, Facebook, Craigslist, Trans-genre, etc, etc.

Networking by word of mouth?
I ask employees of my regular music store about their bulletin boards. Their suggestions to just keep checking back or posting your own ad to reach your target audience.

I haven’t made a flyer to pin up on their wall yet. I feel that I haven’t come up with how to explain that I am a guitarist and they should ignore everything else about me that affects “their” shortcomings to do with my trans-dyke-edge of it all. Because it doesn’t matter to me but it really matters to them.

Transportation around the area is kind of hard at times to just go from point A to point B.
Leisurely driving out just to catch a band or try to interact with other musicians who aren’t expecting you is not a great option for the typical Bay area resident. Can I “make” a way to get out to gigs and practice? Yes. Strolling around to find something? Not effective and public transportation is lengthy-even more lengthy to a town you simply do not know.

I really miss the basic convenience of personal transportation on demand that most take for granted.

Emails seem to involve one inquiry, my reply and then nothing for a week if not ever. I generally perceive the electronic modern world to be something that communication goes a lot faster than what people aspire to. Does this also mean someone can go “Ew, a transsexual” a lot faster? Perhaps? but after the first one you just aren’t surprised at it and try to move past all other “delays” in the future. I believe that I am a guitarist first, and everything else second. I continue to maintain my optimism with the process. I really embrace the speed of communication being greatest available for a musician.

Style of music seems to really never come into consideration the few times I have corresponded with other musicians. I suppose my style is Modern Rock and Industrial by today’s standards, I find it great to see Neil Young covers by Type-O Negative. Old music becomes new somehow. There is hope for music yet! Steel Panther is a bit retro glam hair metal with the always-partying & womanizing schtick in a comedic sense, but the fact their music is comparable to vintage hair metal is cool.

Technology is one of the greatest tools to “fill-in” the place of everyone else in the band whom you cannot connect with. I will be gaining this advantage to write music later this spring, but music “in a vacuum” doesn’t breathe life of performing.

So “How am I going to get a band going?” seems to be the question that stays on the front burner.

Lexikat

My Year Has Come Full Circle

Its October 31! My new year will start soon. In case I hadn’t mentioned it before, I am a witch. I don’t ride my broom. Samhain does not interfere with my day of birth which is yet another reason why this new year festival makes perfect sense.

My year in review? Its sort of like that.

Health. I had a few benign extractions without a hitch. My health and culture took a major blow from an allergy to Gluten-no more typical bread, beer, pasta, or pizza. Its hard to get a higher protein carbohydrate in my diet now. Gluten-free flour really sucks to use as it has no glue-like properties to stick things together. No stretching of rising dough neither!

Death. I lost a really awesome friend less than a week prior to this post, whom I am still mourning. She and I were making weekend lunch plans up until her untimely death. I can only assume it was health related as her photos show an increase of weight in a short time. She had just married her fiance 2 weeks prior to her death. Maybe she knew. I’ll always love my friend Claire.

Music. My muse and artist are in one body and mind. My hands erupt with obsession on the fretboard of my guitar. My love for musical expression has returned, like never before. I felt that my “musical heart” was broken while my first guitar was missing-in-action. It wasn’t until I was told (put into storage with a friend for 3 years) that it was actually gone 3 year ago.

Solitary-a witch without a coven. I guess I am a bit of a “bad witch”-bad being lazy. I really observe the big Sabbats but tend to be lacking with ritual between those times. I’d like to be doing more, but there seems to be some spiritual blockage or something.

Family. It was officially 5 years since last I spoke to the bad blood family and the good blood family. The good blood family has stayed relatively supportive and I have good communications with them. No apologizes coming from the bad blood anytime soon.My extended family of friends do get less time from me due to my domestic nature. Sorry folks, its not personal.

Enjoy this Samhain, or Halloween safely!

Lexikat
)O(

How’s Your Guitar Grip: Tight, Loose, or Crazy

I have been around guitars and guitarists most of my life.  The grip of the fret hand sometimes reveals the style of the player. I myself hold very loose and yet have my fingers tight onto the fretboard. I rarely make chords with more than 3 strings, plus my grip allows my fingers to dance up or down a string when my brain says to.

Though I have observed it for a few years, I never really considered how one holds the neck in relation to how they play.

I notice that generally people who primarily play rhythm hold their fingers very tight and very close together. Their grip and attack on the strings is very sure and true. They keep it anchored in the sense of the song is maintained.

Then you have the people who hold on loosely. They live on the edge. They fly by the seat of their pants. But they mostly are guitarists that solo or primarily play lead. The fingers can fly faster without a firm grip on the neck.

Its mostly a theory of mine. I notice videos of my favorite bands with these nuances of loose or tight on the neck.

What kind of grip do you have, and how does it effect your style of playing??

Lexikat