Wind of Silence Without Anxiety

Luft
(German)
Vent
(French)

Both mean simply Air-or wind.

My new trial of being a Girlfriend to an amazing potential partner did seem to come to a mutual agreement of letting the natural space of sound intrude and embracing the background information. Why? Sometimes you just have to be able to get to sleep, or wind down, or settle in. Lower your anxiety without stirring the situation more.

“Shut up”, or “silence” or even “shhhhhh” are abrupt and generally tend to not be so kind. You really want to defer to being kind to someone you potentially see in long-term plans.

Why this approach?
She is a professional therapist. Not in the “doesn’t it drive you crazy that your girlfriend is always analyzing you?” sense. More to the sense of “There is some strong intellectual, spiritual, and emotional basis for trying harder and in a more effective manner than in either of our pasts.”

So basically, if you’d like a non-awkward silence but merely a breather or pause with your partner…
consider a mutual word of silence to invoke that applies to both of you.
You might enjoy the sound of the wind with each other.

Lexikat

Disclaimer: this person is not my therapist nor was my therapist. This technique may or may not be some professional tool or area of study by persons within the mental health career field.

Disclaimer: I am happy and she is too.

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Sometimes Life Can Remind You Why You Don’t Quit

For the first time in an age, I am completely happy with myself.
My struggles are my own and they seem to be the background noise to which has been the canvas to where I sling color and expression upon “in spite of” at times.

I don’t need someone else to make me happy. Historically, those have turned into that same situation driving me absolutely miserable. I was a willing participant, I will admit that!

But after your poignancy level has tapered off and your thoughts settle, life seems more enjoyable with an augmentation of joy, surpassed with happiness. Things are new again.

Happy times and inspiration as a “muse” to the artist need not be in constant supply. Moments of inspiration cause an avalanche effect cascading the creative process.
Little input yields mass output.

I can welcome this and know that I am better for not leaving San Francisco, not leaving my life, and not leaving me.
Because no matter where you go, there you are!

Lexikat

Life Without Music Breaks My Heart Open Wider

I’m a musician.
It is THIS pulse that comes from within that escapes into this universe through my fingers producing sound against a medium of material (Guitar plus Amp, Keyboards, etc.)

I don’t need a band to play. Just some time with her in my hands is all I will ever need.

Often times, people see this as a luxury, a fruitless pursuit of something that does not pay-or is a distraction at best.

Right now I am moving-in the process of call-text-email people with rooms listed. Tedious and time consuming, but necessary.

But it hurts.

She is the muse like no other muse I have had in my life.

I can see her, but I can’t touch her.

She cries to my heart-and it does break open a little wider with each speck of dust that collects, the impact is as if it were a bullet.
My fingers hurt from not touching her-the callouses crack under daily activity…
my body is not stimulated to continue their production at the intensity to which my body had grown accustomed to.

Her sound resonates within my body when she is awake.

Sympathetic frequencies through out my nasal cavities and vocal folds flutter upon this interaction.

I hope I can get settled into someplace soon.

I die slowly without playing my guitar.

-L

My Year Has Come Full Circle

Its October 31! My new year will start soon. In case I hadn’t mentioned it before, I am a witch. I don’t ride my broom. Samhain does not interfere with my day of birth which is yet another reason why this new year festival makes perfect sense.

My year in review? Its sort of like that.

Health. I had a few benign extractions without a hitch. My health and culture took a major blow from an allergy to Gluten-no more typical bread, beer, pasta, or pizza. Its hard to get a higher protein carbohydrate in my diet now. Gluten-free flour really sucks to use as it has no glue-like properties to stick things together. No stretching of rising dough neither!

Death. I lost a really awesome friend less than a week prior to this post, whom I am still mourning. She and I were making weekend lunch plans up until her untimely death. I can only assume it was health related as her photos show an increase of weight in a short time. She had just married her fiance 2 weeks prior to her death. Maybe she knew. I’ll always love my friend Claire.

Music. My muse and artist are in one body and mind. My hands erupt with obsession on the fretboard of my guitar. My love for musical expression has returned, like never before. I felt that my “musical heart” was broken while my first guitar was missing-in-action. It wasn’t until I was told (put into storage with a friend for 3 years) that it was actually gone 3 year ago.

Solitary-a witch without a coven. I guess I am a bit of a “bad witch”-bad being lazy. I really observe the big Sabbats but tend to be lacking with ritual between those times. I’d like to be doing more, but there seems to be some spiritual blockage or something.

Family. It was officially 5 years since last I spoke to the bad blood family and the good blood family. The good blood family has stayed relatively supportive and I have good communications with them. No apologizes coming from the bad blood anytime soon.My extended family of friends do get less time from me due to my domestic nature. Sorry folks, its not personal.

Enjoy this Samhain, or Halloween safely!

Lexikat
)O(

Effortless Guitar Playing Through Better Living

So I had properly set up my new ESP LTD GL-200K, and the momentum forward is truly insane for even my standards.

Since I spent a while with the cello (although not properly schooled), I find guitar strings are effortless to bend and fret. My passion from that period has spilled over as things like Ástor Piazzolla‘s Libertangothe dance has not gone to my feet but to my fingers across the fretboard/dance floor. One-and-two-and-half-and-up-and-back as my fingers sweep in a stumble but moving towards fluid motion as I have progressed. (The demands of my hands have changed to a larger and thicker finger pick than I had always used too.)

I find the tango to be a stumble-a flirtatious dance that sometimes is off-beat driven, rather than parallel to the beat in its sometimes hurried and staggering expressions.

I would also like to say that there are times that I do not feel like I am the one playing-the sum of which is truly mio cuore-my heart that is speaking through this music.

Lucifer has been cited as the seed/driving force for music at times. Funny enough that Lucifer is referred to as “The Morning Star” which we know to be the planet Venus-whereas Venus/Aphrodite are nowhere near the mythological implications of Lucifer. 

Perhaps the muse is the spirits of long deceased musicians talking through my body when I am playing. Perhaps it is the combined genetics of my paternal and maternal line that course through my veins that refuse to let the musician have her sleep.

The balance of my womanhood may have plateau’ed to allow this to wash over and through me. 

 And it seems that the sales representatives at my local guitar retailer are keen to helping me and I am pleasantly surprised when they don’t bat an eye for my appearance (as times in the past had occurred at other stores).

Rock on!

Lexikat

Eris: Goddess (Guitar) of Chaos Has Arrived!

Finally, my wait is over!
My LTD GL-200 Kamikaze has arrived!

Due to the problems of extended “in-stock by” dates whizzing by since July 3rd, I was offered a free padded carrying case and cleaning kit for this situation. Then, when I was shipped a fleece lined drum case accidentally, I was given a gift card by Guitar Center. Luckily, my was quickly processed by the Emeryville Guitar Center staff as to have one arrive!!!

No matter how late or enthusiastic you are about finally receiving something, always open the box at the store!!!

GL-200K

Its a copy of ESP’s Kamikaze produced for George Lynch. Humbucker and single coil with no tone controls and a push-pull volume knob to switch between the coils.

Difference between ESP and LTDs? A couple thousand dollars. Decide for yourself and watch here.

The reverse headstock gives a similar tonal quality to Jimi Hendrix‘s flipped Fender Strat. (Its also how my cello was strung once I replaced its pegs, as I had seen others strung like that.)

Jimi Hendrix (like me) was also a soldier at Fort Campbell, Kentucky in the 101st Airborne Division…and like me, didn’t overstay!

Oh, how rude of me. I totally forgot to mention the Goddess of Chaos: Eris. She is known as the Greek goddess of strife and discord. (Latin is translated to Discorda) 
After my first guitar being Lucifer (Lucy for short) bringer of light as she was white; then replaced by the same model Ibanez RG350DX named Isis (Ice Ice baby), for the serpent goddess of the Mediterranean . My cello was named Lucien after Lucien Bonaparte, and not after the lycan character Lucien, from my favorite movie Underworld

The Dokken video for In My Dreams is a good place to see George (Lynch) playing the original ESP Kamikaze.

I picked it up tonight, though I wrote a lot of this blog the week prior. I sat on the floor after I gave it a “once over” before firing up the amp. Action in the Floyd Rose is a bit stiff, but should loosen up nicely. The strings are bright but new and need some breaking-in. The radius is nice and I think flatter than my RG350DX’s, The push-pull volume pick-up switch is different but changes the tone very nice to slip into a few Hendrix type licks or two during my familiarization. The fretboard is rosewood and seems to be laminated/sealed-very flat.
I don’t do a lot of chords across 6 strings, the levelness of the neck seems to leave plenty of room to bend the strings a bit. One feature I didn’t notice until inspecting it was the recessed 1/4″ phono cable jack. I got a 90 degree plug thinking it was at the edge, but the recessed plug means you can use regular guitar jacks with it.

What kind of picks to I like? The Steve Clayton Acetal Polymer Pick: Small Teardrop – Size: .63mm. They are small for my fingers to still grip the string but ride my thumb to get nice pinch harmonics. I used them with my previous guitars and loved them.

Its nice to have an ax again.

Lexikat

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4 Elemental Forces of My Day

  • FIRE:

The burning fires of the sun awaken my senses. Illumination creeping in through the blinds  (blocked from my partner because of her sleep mask), stirs my slumber long before my alarm goes off. The alarm merely confirms that my senses are correct in starting my day-any and everyday I live. The crackling and sizzling of food in the pan-electric or gas (fire), do liven your senses into breakfast (breaking one’s fast) into being; cold cereal (Panda Puffs) not so much.

  • AIR:

True, my altar has the air/wind element of an owl feather I found on the 3-mile walk when I first visited the Golden Gate Bridge, I am reminded almost daily of the wind that carries me as a airborne vessel…

Not often is there a calm to be found outside my home. A swirling is present on my street when I first leave the door. Often too, the walkway is littered with feathers of easily recognized bird species. The closer I walk towards the subway (20 minutes away) the wind gains momentum along the route. I am also moving in the direction of the Bay. Once in The City, I am greeted with a blast of colder (and much denser, moist air) wall of wind. i scurry another 10 minutes from the subway to my building.

  •  EARTH:

Upon arriving to my job during the week, I pile my purse, backpack, lunch sack, coat, blazer, onto my workstation. (During the weekend, I read, write, research from the couch. The wind greets me when I leave for errands or walking the dog.) I feel my senses regaining lots bits from the sardine-can feeling from the subway. I sit and focus in a grounded sense of “planning my day” ahead. This moment of projection from a grounded sense does project the overall mood and productivity of my day.

As an “earth sign”, I find that this era of my life is most grounded but also most balanced in contrast to my youth. The years of restlessness and wandering have settled to sensibility and substance.

  • WATER:

At the end of my days, I am sitting to enjoy the smells and swirling sensations of social meals (in contrast of simply “eating”) with my partner, my love. Food, beverage, wine flow across the palate. When I finally find the activity of merging the activity of my partner’s day with mine, and the television has been tuned off…I wait for the tides of sleep to flow over me, and drift me with the current to the journey of sleep. Sleep is not a destination! Sleep is a journey down the river of the flowing life-a crossing of an ocean.

And thus I’ve felt the 4 elements in every day of my experiences. I have discovered that there’s never a day that it doesn’t happen.

What routines in your day happen most often?

If you are Pagan/Wiccan, what of the 4 elements do you feel in your lives?

~Lexikat