I was recently challenged by the “counsel” of my girlfriend.
The challenge: Since we know what you want to avoid, tell me what you enjoyed about all of your last relationships/partnerships.
If there is hurt, then it takes more effort.
Pain is generally easy to avoid, but in making that my focus there is much that I would no longer be open to.
Hiding from being my true self,
Trying to satiate myself without doing any work,
Being the object of affection,
Being a girl in a lesbian relationship,
Being sexually active after a period of inactivity,
Trying to be a parent…
A lot of my relationships had no depth. They were simply validating on some level
I joke about my skills that only seem to improve as I practice my craft and such, but there is more to life than simply showing up and doing the same thing everyday. The process of simply finding someone who has substance in harmony with my own is the ideal goal.
Never pick the prettiest, nor the smartest, nor the sexiest, nor the richest, nor the most available.
Find someone you can connect the positive points upon.
Be you-the true you.
Be happy with yourself and your life.
Nobody will complete you, but they might compliment you.