Dyke Military Veteran Want to Rent From You San Francisco

Hi,
I am a veteran of the military who’s had a full-time job for the last 3.5 years.
At $30,000 annual income, I cannot afford most of what is listed on here. I also do not qualify for most social programs because I make too much money. I have to work. My credit isn’t glorious. 

Also, I can control myself to stop at 2 glasses of wine. I realize that some people can’t.
I do not qualify for veterans and social programs because I work-I cannot lie to attend mandatory meetings. I am a competent human being.
Am I supposed to live in the TL full of bedbugs? No.

You:
LGBT Queer friendly (important), Gets paid rent promptly, Responds with area your room is located. Please don’t send offers over $1000 per month, its far above my income.

I am not a student, but am fine living around students (Park Merced, SF State, etc.)
I’m not a jerk, nor a criminal. 
It doesn’t bother me if you: drink, 420, have a dog or cat, or drink under age.

Please contact me if you have something. 
Can’t a Dyke get a break?
Thanks!

Ringing Like a Bell

Collision? Ding!
Well the laws of physics tell us that matter in a solid state still is in movement at the atomic level.
Sound? Ding!
Well the laws of physics tell us that it is a “vibration that propagates as a mechanical wave of pressure and displacement, through some medium (such as air or water). Sometimes sound refers to only those vibrations with frequencies that are within the range of hearing for humans” – from Wikipedia

I am a musician. My fingers move upon the frets creating sound that builds and is raised through the amplifier. Perhaps something that is struck will make a sound, say a person?

Throughout our lives we bounce like a particle of matter, colliding with different people we meet, HELLO?!?
but this time it had went ….DING~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (to infinity)
The sound resonates like a pebble into the pond-or bell. The waves roll out and across the medium long after the strike. I know that is kinda Zen-ish.

I stumbled recently-thinking I broke something or shattered something in my life.
However,
That bell thing I thought was just silly me. But when I reached out and thanked the many friendships, the other bell rang back-and apparently had since the moment it chimed in me.

So it seems I cannot clearly explain it, nor could my friend. But it happened so I’m not completely nuts.
No sports fans, I’m not in love nor running off somewhere in THAT sense,
but its some reassurance the resonant waves of the universe are universal in at least this one occasion.

And that is like billions upon billions more occasions than I would had thought existed only the day before.

Ding

Lexikat

Anniversary of Arrival

It was 4 years ago to this day, minus 2 days, that I said my last good bye to the most unpolluted and pure love I had known. 2 days later on this day,  4 years ago, she died. As she was at the end of her life, cataracts and coughing, she never stopped looking to my smile-she brought it whenever we greeted each other. She ignored the sorrow of my losing my situation, and the packing following it.

She was a misfit; having been overlooked by her first family she knew. When she was introduced to me, she stepped ahead of this family to take a personal friendship with me. I tend to think things were meant to align her. She seemed to have a second adolescence when we were together. And it was so great to have her enthusiasm and joy.

Exercise never seemed to phase her. I would always give her a bath, and groom her after those sessions. She’d snuggle up and go to sleep together.

As it were, she died 2 days after I got on the plane for a better job than the “sensibilities of North Carolina” would allow.

Fuck you world!

I want my dog back!

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Diamond Queer Dyke

Diamonds are crystals of Carbon that only develop under intense pressure. The crystal lattice that make up their strength and luster can only come about this way.

Having lived through my life in growth cycle that my queerness came:
Awareness-Shame-Closet-Repression-Exit Closet-Ridicule-Rejection-Expression-Evolution-Acceptance
is a process that I say is similar to what creates the Uniqueness, Individuality, Hardness, Desirability, Value of queers.

Diamonds do sometimes wear from their environment. It was their environment that tempered their hard exterior…

Most queers I have met are not “garden variety” or bland; they stand out almost immediately from a crowd.

Most often Diamonds are on display, locked up, adorned on ones body…it can also be said of queers.

Queers aren’t ignored by mainstream, they get praised and persecuted. Token Gay Friend. Token Transsexual. Down Low. Secret Mistress. Escort for Hire. Tranny Porn. Test Drive. Experimental.

EXOTIQUE – EXOTIC – EROTIC – FETISH – FETISHIST

I figure queers can be reclusive and withdrawn much like Diamonds, at least in my case. I long for acceptance into certain circles and yet my status makes me something different than the rest-a  “Diamond in the Rough”

I suppose its rough being a Diamond.

The understanding comes mostly from other Diamonds-out and proud visible Diamonds.

I suppose the greatest pressure could create the most spectacular Diamond, but at what cost?

-Lexikat

Life Without Music Breaks My Heart Open Wider

I’m a musician.
It is THIS pulse that comes from within that escapes into this universe through my fingers producing sound against a medium of material (Guitar plus Amp, Keyboards, etc.)

I don’t need a band to play. Just some time with her in my hands is all I will ever need.

Often times, people see this as a luxury, a fruitless pursuit of something that does not pay-or is a distraction at best.

Right now I am moving-in the process of call-text-email people with rooms listed. Tedious and time consuming, but necessary.

But it hurts.

She is the muse like no other muse I have had in my life.

I can see her, but I can’t touch her.

She cries to my heart-and it does break open a little wider with each speck of dust that collects, the impact is as if it were a bullet.
My fingers hurt from not touching her-the callouses crack under daily activity…
my body is not stimulated to continue their production at the intensity to which my body had grown accustomed to.

Her sound resonates within my body when she is awake.

Sympathetic frequencies through out my nasal cavities and vocal folds flutter upon this interaction.

I hope I can get settled into someplace soon.

I die slowly without playing my guitar.

-L