Re-inventing The Wheel

So I am 40 (something). Grumbles answer under breath

I want to be taken serious in my career and my appearance. I took all my piercings out recently except one-my “I made it to 40” nose piercing.

The others were collected like this: “I just broke up with fill-in-a-name and I feel like a piercing to just feel better…” I could look at my body and see the trail of broken hearts, blood & entrails and destruction by merely counting the facial/ear piercings.

Accepting help from others in this goal hasn’t always been easy: My look/way of life was something I had to fight for/collect on my own. I was proud of my accomplishments in my “design.” So I was hard pressed to release control when approached by my partner about this manner. After some calming down and approaching with different method, a dialog was open for us about this sensitive subject.

My hair color has been corrected, and I am no longer blonde. After deconstructing and removing (or inhabiting my proper) gender markers, I am comfortable with pants, shorter hair, etc.

Fear.
The biggest thing that holds me and surely others back is fear. Not completely paralyzing but a direct force of influence, like drag is to flight.

Fear of flying?
Fear of dying?
Fear of dying while trying?

Who me?

Surely.

My role model? I don’t have any that come to mind that were blood relatives. The girls in the fashion magazines are like a decade (COUGH) or so younger than me. Heck, they aren’t even creative with their expression. Lesbian, queer, etc.

I had a great manager from a store I worked with that is a little younger than me. She has tattoos and a great fashion sense.

Imitate greatness?
Fake it until you make it?
Copy until you’re original?

Pretty much.

I figure all my blazers can stay. Pants can stay. Its indecent to go around without wearing any pants. HAHAHAHA!

Seriously, What kind of tops say “I’m not so flat chested but womanly?”  (Without comments/replies these become dank, dark, rhetorical questions)

I can keep a few mod/mini dresses that are above the knee. I ‘d love to find skirts for work that are just hitting the kneecap and ones just lower than mid-calf for casual wear.

Just don’t get me started on shoes! I swear my mother accidentally was impregnated by a duck based on my foot width. Sure the industrial exotic dancer shoes fit my arch, but they are hardly practical.

So (crickets chirping), What do you suggest for Ideas?

Grazie!
Lexikat

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s