Why I never quit, and selfishly continued to smoke:
I was bitter, and alone,
With no one to simply be around-
the difference of catching lung cancer alone by my choice,
or not was my life.
Regardless of how long either I or my friends have to live,
I feel that would be dishonoring to my friends if its something I can prevent as the choice of smoking or not.
(nobody asked me to quit. My doctor once told me to quit. I’m not seeking any approval beyond my own conscience)
I’m writing this through my tears on the 8x bus.
And I’m now smiling through those tears,
with gooey smeared and running mascara…
It has been the first time I spoke to someone,
and they listened!!!
(and I listened to their story, starting at the last few chapters for openers)
And I knew if I was going to continue to smoke, by choice…
it would be like a big “fuck you” at my friends.
I cannot live with that.
They are the kind of people in a long time just to simply listen, without distraction, nor prejudice.
I pray to Diana that I never have a falling out with them,
At either rate, I think if I truly believe in the principle of honor-others or unto myself, then I will not be smoking cigarettes again,
in this life.
Thank You for listening.