While it exists, let it be heard.

Make Me a Sammich

by Sid


WhyWhy do we do this? Why do we write about our experiences and talk about misogyny and women in today’s society and put all this out into the world?

I used to wonder that. Why bother? The only people reading are a) people who already agree with you or b) people who honest to God just want to fight with you.

The people who should be paying attention usually aren’t, and if they are, it’s only to argue. Most misogynists don’t even realize you’re talking to them, because no one self-identifies as a misogynist. Even the most ardent among them love women, you see. They have mothers and sisters and everything. Some of their best friends are women. You can’t change the mind of someone who can’t hear you, so these are obviously—as much as we might wish otherwise—not the people we’re talking to.

So who does…

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Transgender Day of Rememberance

Today is the day where we, the transgender community, remember through the list of names of people murdered/died through actions of others because of who they were.
The name I carry for personal reasons of  being a veteran, and a former Screaming Eagle of the 101st, is for Private First Class Barry Winchell because he was murdered by a fellow soldier in July 1999 just a few blocks up the street from where I was.

I believe his name is relative to the list because in my opinion he was murdered because of his girlfriend, Calpernia Addams.

Today is a day to bring attention to advocacy, see what needs to change; to see how far we have come; and to remember the loved ones who died in this battle.
Its a
Violent bloody war
based on who you are.
Much like genocide of the African continent,
or ethnic cleansing of Europe.

So what I recommend to all the new boys and new girls out there (and people that are both and neither of those categories)…is to carry mace/tazer/pepper spray when you venture out in your new identity.
Don’t hesitate to use it in defense of being attacked by a family member. In fact, expect violence from at least 1 family member. Stay on your toes.


City Life


I will say this about living in a city:
Its dirty,
people are hateful,
riding the bus is rarely a pleasure,
my room is tiny and expensive


I can walk home from work.

I can leisurely walk in the rain,

while listening to Por una Cabeza and arrive home to my tiny room from the store with microwaved grilled eggplant parmesan with sour dough bread dripped in Sicilian extra virgine olive oil, a bottle of Malbec from Argentina by candlelight with my window open just listening to the most beautiful part of living in a city.

In this I feel a tiny notion of love.

Its not much but,

I will savor it.


Top 5 Misconceptions about San Francisco

Misconceptions about San Francisco:

1. That boys frequently dress as girls.
Its not that kind of town. I have lived other places, even in the south, where gay boys frequently dressed up whether they were performing or not. Professional drag performances here are just another aspect of entertainment night life. Transgender is NOT equal to a gay boy in a dress.

(hint: it NEVER has been.)

2. It is a Trans-friendly town.
In my experience, if you are riding in an automobile, then you are free of groups of people yelling or harassing you with what they “perceive” about you. But wait? That is also true about any other state if you are trans, even in the south. Riding in a car keeps interaction to a minimum in any state and so North Carolina is just as “trans-friendly” in that sense. Job wise, there are more opportunities because of California state laws. Much progress in trans-legislature is a result of the Transgender Law Center

3. The Tenderloin is a great destination for European tourists.
I really lost count of shootings and altercations published about tourists from Europe having problems. Apparently there is some kind of advertisement abroad about why The Tenderloin area is such a great cheap place to stay. The Tenderloin is a festering ghetto, filled with methadone clinics, crack-heads, meth-heads, homeless…the list could go on…
Its also a stupid web rumor that it is the most “trans-friendly” area of town. Wrong! Try North Beach instead. Try North Beach if you are a European tourist also.
But I will say that there are some really rare great places to eat there, especially if you like Thai or Vietnamese or even Indian. Word of caution: do not go by yourself and stay in well lit places while traveling in numbers.

4. Housing is affordable.
Housing is far above the 30% of your income balance that the basic national rates hover near. Sure life in big cities can be expensive but property owners here have no problem extorting a large sum simply because “they can.” Plan on having roommates or living in an SRO. Plan on getting turned away based on judgement rather than income and a clean police record.

5. Haight-Ashbury is all about Peace, Hope and Love.
Jerry, Janice, Jim and Jimi are all dead and gone away for quite some time. If they had a spirit, it does not live here. This area of town has the most aggressive panhandlers and its a really stinky part of town. There is no love when you are getting yelled at simply because you are walking. Lots of people who haven’t bathed in like a decade laying in along the street and laying around in the adjacent parks. The streets that run parallel to either side of Haight (Paige & Waller) are pretty free of bums in the doorways. This is also the largest trust fund hybrid driving Hipster population and their pretentious ideals live, eat, play.
There are some great eats to be found at restaurants along Haight but like the clothing shops dotted along the street-higher prices only reflect higher rent and not necessarily “more for your value.”

The facts are simply that in the 2 1/2 years I have been here and traveled around the city, its not what the common rumor has painted it to be. Arriving here as a place to live, you had better plan to physically carve out your life to establish one. If you are from one of the Dot-com industries, you people can just bite my ass for causing all the rent to rise-and the neighborhoods loosing their cultural flavor through gentrification

Will I continue to live here? For a while. Though Muni feels horrendous when you ride it, this city has one of the largest network of public transit. The local Veterans Administration has great medical service to its community of those who served. There is my favorite tattoo shop here, Tattoo Boogaloo, that affords me to get some really sweet ink. North Beach isn’t Italy, but there are places all around there that make my Italiana Cuore sing with delight and feel a little better in my City by the Bay.


Why you shouldn’t vote for Romney

As a Veteran, I ask you not to vote for Mitt Romney because President Obama has made many improvements to the VA Health Care and Jobs for Vets system-especially the ones physically disfigured by George Bush’s war.

As a woman, I ask you not to vote for Mitt Romney, because the de-evolution of a basic fundamental understanding that women are not chattel property, our bodies are our own to make decisions with, we fought for the right to vote and deserve to keep everything-including Roe vs. Wade, that has come to pass, and science explains the forces of biology in a woman’s body, not some invisible person like Rumplestiltskin. Sex education and contraceptives lower abortion rate, not making abortions harder to come by.

As a transgendered person, EEOC ruling and lifting restrictions on federal jobs to include gender identity/expression came about with a “fertile for change” political atmosphere provided by endorsements and support from President Obama. Don’t vote Romney.

As a lesbian/bisexual, I’d like to think that there would be an option to sharing ALL of the constitutional rights granted to “church going” married couples as me and my potential long-term partner. If you are too busy thinking about what goes on in other peoples’ bedrooms then you should consider why your divorce rate is so high? You want to protect “traditional marriage” then please Outlaw traditional divorce. Period.
Don’t vote Romney.

As a registered voter, I do not believe Mitt Romney has been clear on what his economic plan actually is. He has driven the whole election to be a “Jesus issue” by playing on “voter fear” rather than his own merit.

As a sane individual, I hope you don’t vote for some smug bastard and his misogynistic snot-nosed, smart-ass running mate. Face it, Paul Ryan is Steve Stifler from American Pie series of movies.


Welfare state is not glamorous

This election year, social programs are scrutinized and under threats of cutting budgets for programs that actually do help more people of substance. To illustrate this point, I will use myself as a specific example. (I am a person of substance.)

Sometime near 1980, all of my biological father’s bad business decisions and cocaine dealings/habit caught up with the needs of his expanded family. This caused (or encouraged) my mother to apply and employ the use of food stamps. I went with her to the office in Michigan*, and had to wait with her. I was too busy to notice what she actually did other than it was not a proud moment for her. She had to sign up again when we moved to a different state, naturally I was dragged along to further harden the shame of it all.

I quickly learned about what items the book of colorful paper coupons did and did not buy. Most notably on the non-food list were the staple food for her husband: beer and cigarettes-we never ran out of those, but ate a lot of beans and rice and government cheese in lieu of real food. I have ingested more no-name peanut butter and high-fructose syrup grape jelly on off-brand Wonderbread than the entire population of Sicily, Crete, Cyprus, Greece, Italy, and all of North Africa combined. Diabetes anyone?

(Yes, I have diabetes)

This continued over into grammar school with lunches and such. Since I was always a clever girl, I noticed on the forms for the school “free lunch” program included various income tables. According to the diagram my family’s income could have been $50,000 a year and we still would have qualified. That may sound like a lot of wishful thinking, but consider having a house full of hungry growing kids. Clothing was apparently a scarce commodity as I was always stuck in brother’s (now deceased) hand-me-downs based on closeness of age. Sure they weren’t my preferred gender, but they were always the quality of showing considerable wear. I did not get to pick anything to remotely express myself as the older kids did.

I noticed a lot of purchases made by my mother were not making it to my plate: shrimp, lobster, prime cut steak, bacon, Oreos, Chips Ahoy!, Ice cream, various sweets. When I simply inquired about something that “probably tasted good” having not even tried most of (not until age 15), I was told that “Oh you wouldn’t like it.” or “It tastes funny to children.” Really? Its like one of my friends had said “There always seems to be money for beer and cigarettes.”

Oh I was always ashamed for a couple dozens of years being a “free lunch” kid at school. As soon as I had semi-regular paid employment, I proudly paid for my own food, sometimes to the argument that “but wait, you don’t have to pay.” Eventually I ate off-campus in my car.

Fast forward a few years to moving to California:

I moved here because my other job cut my hours to 4 hours a week in the middle of January (that is the short story).

That part of the east coast was not all “trans” friendly, 8 months prior to this with a hasty eviction from my crazy roommate, I had been turned away from the Salvation Army women’s shelter by a man, after looking at my driver’s license and loudly proclaiming I was “A man.” I did at least inquire at the men’s shelter to which I would have involved multiple raping which I dare not subject myself to. Thanks for your hospitality Salvation Army! Stronzi!

Being on welfare for 8 months living in a homeless shelter was no picnic. I always got harassed at the welfare office. Yelled at, propositioned, threatened-oh and they would follow me out of the building too.
Not to mention the fact when you go, you always don’t seem to have enough paperwork, and an entire day is wasted getting a task that could be completed in an hour.

So to conclude this “welfare is SO glamorous” blog, consider if something being such a dolore nel culo (pain-in-the-ass) should ever be considered as an enjoyable free meal ticket. Then again, I was a white woman applying. The case workers know it, the entire lobby knew it. Culturally it may have seemed out of place, but as a tax payer and military veteran, that option should have been there.


Le mie frasi preferite italiane. / Favorite Italian Phrases

Io non sono finocchio o uomo o Femminiello. Io sono una nuova donna, te chiamo transessuale. Capito?

I am a new woman, transsexual. I’m not a gay man, man or femminelilo. Got it?

(You  can see why this one is important)

Io sono la principessa di uove e pancetta affumicata!

I am the princess of eggs and bacon.

Neanche tu fossi l’ultima persona in Nord Spiaggia!

Not if you were the last person in North Beach!

Neanche tu fossi l’ultima persona in il mondo!

… the world!

Che succedi, vecchio/vecchia?

What’s up (how are things), old man/old woman?

Cazzo mia vita!




Vorrei il conto, per favore?

Check please!

Mi chiedono della mia assicurazione auto!

Ask me about my car insurance?

Mi piace fragole.

I like strawberries.

Vorrei una birra e cannoli. Peroni, per favore? Grazie.

I would like a Peroni and a cannoli please? Thanks.
(This phrase came out of the fact that for desert I wanted to have tiramisu and a Peroni but they  only had cannoli. Its my signature dessert “Cannoli and Peroni!”

Che cosa significa en inglese?

What does this mean in English?

Quanto costa?

How much (does this ) cost?

Ti piace il mio tatuaggio?

Do you like my tattoo?

Dami un bacio?

Give me a kiss?

Restiamo amici, per sempre.

Let’s stay friends, forever.

Tu sei simpatico.

You are funny.

Mi amo tu!

I love you!

Tutto e possibile per la bellissima cigni.

Everything is possible for beautiful swans.

Ciao! A piu tarde. A piu domani.