Wait, you’re a lesbian? But I’d kill to attract men looking like you do…

This episode is laughable and thus I have to mention the entertainment of my doctor’s visit today.

Today at the hospital, one of the queer nurse boys got really chatty with me, as sometimes people do. Conversation goes something like this:
(Q is his question and A is my reply, not Q for queer…)

During the weigh in:
Q-“What do you do to get your shoulders so narrow? Did you have surgery? What exercises do you do?” (the tone was rather in an envious manner)

A-“No. I thank my parents and my good Italian ancestry.”

a little later…

Q-“A fella in the waiting area wanted to have his blood pressure checked and sit next to the pretty woman seating in here (wink and a surprised smile look on face).” His attitude reeked of ‘you are so clever doing a great job to fool men in buying you are a real girl’. You put a lot of work into this moment and hit pay dirt honey!

A-“Thank you, but I am seeing a PhD.”

Q-“Really? How long have you been seeing him?”

A-“I have seen her for 2 dates. I’m amazed that she’s an astrophysicist. She is quite lovely. Its awesome if I think about it.”

Q-“Really?” (horrified look on face)

His look and manner seem to convey that if you are born with an assumed penis and are slightly ‘queer’ you naturally go stick it in everything male perhaps? Maybe something that all transsexuals are really gay men? Or even that all people appearing as a woman will naturally pair with a man….(I could go on forever with this)

There was this weird enthusiasm about me being “convincing” this entire exchange. His over exaggerated gestures and style seemed to indicate that he has dressed up as a girl a time or two in his life as his demonstrated envy conveyed the most throughout this exchange. He exhibited all the behaviors that I have witnessed from similar people

I never friend someone specifically because they are queer, gay, lesbian, Jewish, Catholic, Italian, transsexual, employed, black, white, ….well you get the general idea. I also never friend on assumption!

I make friends based on actual friend things like, Oh I don’t know…common interests? tattoos? wine? piercings? comedy? shopping? beer? Doctor Who? industrial? goth? symphony? snarking? kissing? fashion? horticulture? Monty Python? horses? wicca? music? cello? Owls?

All in all, medical professionals as this nurse should neither talk on assumption NOR if they are looking at your chart, be all up in your business. All because you are just getting a fucking flu shot or blood pressure and weight recorded? Shut the fuck up and do your job. I could get you fired for being unprofessional, or at least flogged for being stupid.

The women nurses there are always rad: They complement my clothing or tattoos. And that’s the way I like it.



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