I have a past, but my past does not have me

There are so many things I have experienced. Relations, relatives, relativity….Proclivity, propensity, propulsion…

Sure you could read my old blogs, but the recent retraining at the “job” has really caused a shift.

(not a paradigm shift. I’m not a fan of that phrase)

A lot of things hit at once. One that I will just label “work issue to resolve”, another “marrying a foreigner”, also a “delete OK Cupid”, and the last I would just label “girl on my mind”.

I am supposed to elaborate now that I introduced the subjects. I will elaborate on are “marrying a foreigner” for starters.

An acquaintance of mine seriously took a remark I made at her work to mean that it is something that can be accomplished easy. You know, fool the government. It works for cisgendered people with tons of money, but not girls like me. For someone I do not know that well to offer up a couple of selling points, I think they miss the boat that, a 2-year detour for me to end up with an Italian passport that reads MALE is not how I want to live. I’ll swim to Italy as a determined lady thank-you kindly.

Deleting OK Cupid…

A momentary lapse of reason would explain why I signed on to a website for dating in the first place. Sure I am single, but no need to get upset that “stranger A” didn’t validate me because I am still single. LOL. I’d rather bump into someone who is kind of taken to my charms at the places I go to: galleries, farmers markets, industrial dance scene, symphony, steak houses, coffee houses. If she kind of digs me and is smart and cute, it would be stupid for me to be sitting by her and using the OK Cupid app for smart phone in a bar. Now wouldn’t it? I really would rather be single and focused outward than pre-occupied that answering question on a website introduces people into our lives by friends and such.

So just to wrap up the fact that the other 2 are not worth going into detail on here…I can say this much: The resolve of items has given me clarity. I accomplished a lot when I was living a lie. That in itself was an identity that I feel has really taken a while to come to terms with. There is no ex alive that I will get back together with, even for the sex. They are exes for a very damn good reason.

Speaking of sex and relations:

I am really new at all of this. The chance to start over with no frame of reference is daunting. I suppose I am wrapping up with a vague notion that if a “girl” was open minded to someone who is new at all of this, then be patient a little.

And my lips taste like nectar……….

 Lexikat

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