Love Yourself- And Your Ass Will Follow

(Free Your Mind And Your Ass Will Follow  is an old saying that once you change something then perhaps everything else can fall into place. )

You really cannot be open to loving someone or them loving you properly until you love yourself.
This could be resolving unfinished business in your own life from but not limited to:
Gender transition
Divorce
Death / loss of a loved one
Financial devastation/unemployment
Illness / Rehabilitation
Incarceration
Geographical move
Career Change

 

Your capacity for love of yourself (self love), not letting yourself slip down in priority, is paramount to functioning as a healthy person. Nobody will fix you, and nobody will complete you.
If you count on someone else to complete you or someone else to “do everything for at the expense/neglect of yourself” it will come crashing down.

And so I had learned to really embrace and love me for me earlier this year.
This does mean as an independent (rather than dependant or co-dependent) person, I am emotionally and mentally equipped to face the challenges and adversity that life throws at me (or you).
–leaving me (or you) open for proper reciprocation from someone of independent and self-loving self.

This doesn’t mean that you don’t self-sacrifice certain things, but do those strategically and with forethought . To just give up your sense of self because you “love someone” really isn’t flattering for you or them in the long-term sense. Never be willing to negotiate or give up your own identity either! Don’t do it!!

It is perfectly fine, in my humbled opinion, that you “take a bullet” saving someone you care about. (or automobile accident avoidance, etc., etc.) Be open to consciously making the effort rather than martyr-esque sense of action. Nobody will morn your loss if you are a jerk to save/help someone avoiding discomfort. And this includes “SPENDING EVERY PENNY YOU OWN TO MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY” because such is terrible in action. Please tack “putting on pedestal above own self/needs” as something that a self-loving independent person should do.

Besides, if you find your partner in such endeavors to want everything of yours and your self-identity…
leave the way you came in, and quickly.

Now smile. Some nice independent person might see you!!
Lexikat

Sometimes Life Can Remind You Why You Don’t Quit

For the first time in an age, I am completely happy with myself.
My struggles are my own and they seem to be the background noise to which has been the canvas to where I sling color and expression upon “in spite of” at times.

I don’t need someone else to make me happy. Historically, those have turned into that same situation driving me absolutely miserable. I was a willing participant, I will admit that!

But after your poignancy level has tapered off and your thoughts settle, life seems more enjoyable with an augmentation of joy, surpassed with happiness. Things are new again.

Happy times and inspiration as a “muse” to the artist need not be in constant supply. Moments of inspiration cause an avalanche effect cascading the creative process.
Little input yields mass output.

I can welcome this and know that I am better for not leaving San Francisco, not leaving my life, and not leaving me.
Because no matter where you go, there you are!

Lexikat

Life On The Edge Of The Blade

There is a process forging a sword.
Likewise, there is a process to becoming the person you will be.

A mass of collected metal is slowly worked with heat and flame resembling a crude stick. Hardly resembling a weapon of grace and beauty in the moment of battle.

We go through life having education and upbringing. Some of those we grow up in harmony with, but others grow as a reaction to, or opposite of.

The tempering of a steel blade from the forge is sometimes dipped smoldering into water, or oil-those qualities make what the nature of the material will align with as the process continues…

Tragedy, adversity, loss, love, even the act of getting through something by the skin of your teeth will hone the blade, making it narrower.

When preparing the edge, you can sometimes fold in and create composites of other percentages of material to the type of steel. Putting the edge become the signature of the sword from the maker, and thus the signature of the wielder of the blade…

And thus I forgot to mention polishing the blade. Its important for the usefulness of it.

All the events of your life, good or bad, indifference to such folly even-becomes what you have. As such, your journey can still shape along the way. Blades have different scabbards, they also pick up nicks in the metal, scratches, patina, wear to the grip.It is no longer a fixed point at the end of the act of creation. The blade-your persona, as such is what you ease into battle, the simple act of interaction with the rest of the world.

You make allies-lets call them friends! They do help you in a battle, battle for your life.

The people whom you interact will continue to add to your life. There are a few at the fringes who try to take away. Its ok to let them take the worst parts of you.

Yes, I said it was ok for some people who are ill in nature to take things away from you. Let them have the superficial things, let them have the bad things.

A naked blade is an unimpeded one!

Lexikat

Feast or Famine

Have you ever noticed that at times your life can seem so quiet that you hear a pin drop?
and
At other times it is so busy with activity, interaction, prospects, enticements-that you try to respond to them all?

That happens sometimes.
For me, I tend to want to look towards the human most gentle, kind and loving-and blow her a reassuring kiss that she caught my attention.
The business opportunities? Well, they will get what I can arrange and work out. 

What do you do in your life when a multitude of opportunities come your way?
How do you prioritize them?

Lexikat

Link

San Francisco Isn’t Working Class Affordable.

I was in the news, yet again.  (2010)
In San Francisco, Rooms for $1,000/Month Are Now Scarce

There is some certainty about this place…
It has stagnant energy driven by fear that is reduced to complacency.
Single people stay single and don’t often invest in someone to grow with, people in dead end stale relationships seem to stay in those too. Failed marriages are some of the background noise that isn’t always visible at the surface because it all continues on.

BUT ALL OF THIS COMES PUSHING FORWARD, Like an angry crackhead full of garbage bags pushing through on the 71 Haight bus…
SAN FRANCISCO ONLY CHANGES WHEN IT IS INEVITABLE.
There is no other reason to grow a family, build an empire, invest in human beings unless that proverbial push is coming down the tube.
Sure I have a few friends, I’ve even dated.
People on tethers (life support), estranged spouse separated status, old money and or parental support, people under 25 making 6 figures without sweating 10 years for it-no body wants their umbilicus cut, or to leave the cave of illusions.
—————

I did the interview for this article a few weeks ago. I have had a few interviews, and the prospects of living in the East Bay are still that of subtracting the rent total what the transportation fee into San Francisco would affect it as a whole. I took that $900 per month place and am walking the extra distance to work. People that live in the rest of the country would hopefully ask “Why are you paying $900 a month and you aren’t really able afford to eat?” I would reply, if someone ever were to be so bold ask: “I ask myself that same question, and question my sanity at times.” Mostly because I grew up in the middle of the country somewhere between Cornfield, Iowa and Shigpit, Texas. Of course, they will under employ you if your trans in some of those places that will employ you.

I currently work full time above the elevated minimum wage here and its still maddening.

If there is no net gain in the long run, what is the point of investing anything in anything or anyone?
Why live with false hope at the current pace? This isn’t claiming victim status, that’s what it would be if it was this situation and I was unemployed. For people that quickly label people claiming to be a victim need to just look at their own lack of compassion to find their answers.

-Lexikat